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Too all the people that try too correct me;
I look at a clock ticking & tocking,
I look at my hollow empty life echoing,
Bouncing off the walls
I see everything,
Slipping into a never ending black hole not returning or resurfacing,
I look deep in at my past hoping & wanting too change rectify the mistakes that have been engraved in deep & written with the new challenges resources things i’m doing,
thing’s i’ve successfully achieved from…

I carry my hope dreams & ambitions
got too keep on living got too keep overcoming & then overlooking,
got too keep on striving turn this hardship into thriving,
put back on the agenda of my life sharing & caring,
No time to stop & start under analysing undermining thinking or it’s right back down to ground zero with the same frozen in time like a scar,
the beginning…

I’d rather fail knowing I tried gave it my all,
even left a tear in my stride broke my pride even hid tried died cried denied
on my own while the world was there but looking into stars for some meaning…
every word I was emphasising on had no meaning mocking laughing confusing wants with needs emotions with feelings
Lets leave this here i’ll be on repeat again & again

All I wanted was someone giving my matters a minute
Too stop, Too let certain matters settle & sink in

So many people over thinking minor matters over complicating scenarios
Solutions exist for problems that are real thats when i woke up in a Lie that i was burried deep in that’s when my heart was broken half way thru my life no reason no warning

My heart told me when I woke up too this chaotic hybrid deception of realism, I was just being lied too & will be till i’m burried & forgotten

Now I guess I tell myself u know better than the rest you better than anyone of the rest,
Show this to the world show them the power of love & light kickin’ from within…

All I wanted too say was think it over in ur own space & time when its back too your world & i’m back alone in mine

Same complaints over & over i’ve become used too the jingle of them repeatedly repeating themselves digging even deeper over & over

that’s not the worring bit the scray bit is when they say this is normal this is what reality is

this is where your staying or you are leaving

where taking away ur support we want too see u do it on your own & if u can you can repay what you’ve took that’d be great too…

I wish for once someone would consider if for some reason if I actually ever had a destination a place I would maybe one day call home,

Thaughts of sharing my love with every breath till I die in a woman’s arms I adore & never want too hopefully see cry, seal it with a hairflick wet with Red soaked lipstick no worldly emotion just finally found love at it’s existinary brink,

a last second kiss,

too see me through till we see again…

even a free thaught a painting of a mellow sun set a dark moon rising a twisted soul a code too be broken today or tomorrow encrypted with my love I hope it doesn’t show…

I don’t want too be here alone at home, I plan too share what little I have with someone who cares & let it show…

I look at my future unfolding unlocking guiding aligning the segment of life where I will never see a ending & not even get a glimpse even close the beginning,

But every day I live there’s a private unveiling unraveling a craving I think is love it’s this crazy urge it’s this deep well rooted rumbling,

This clarity it’s like a cure this soberness this desirebility,

How it’s over taking my mind my soul my dreams my heart even my goals,

It’s like a endless sweet healing soft sensation a kiss a kiss of life not death this rebirth a flood of positive energies emotions raging…

a drift a breeze blowing a fire out

my silent whimpering screams within my dreams

my broken bones below my broken surface below my damaged skin in a broken house where there’s no person & way too much cold space where too be honest I only want too see my lovers face

In a endless search for a bit of hope dreams & dreams I hunger for, creating a thirst

Love is now stimulating a reality that should be realistically re-fueling nourishing energising motivating pushing me in the right direction wheter I fell or fall wether I am where I am now or whether I’m rising too search for more…

The light of life that is out there for all but no one is taking it in grasping it atall

even contemplating it’s existence apparently it’s all going too fall,

I reach out for it’s mysterious glow,

I don’t really care & I don’t really know, I wish what I see I could show…

vigorously violently powerful & painfully silently call it after my broken bones miraculously there’s now a deep dark chaotic storm brewing inside me

ready to uproar uprise again against any further misdoing or negativity inflicting upon me or any other being that be,

This thing what is named inhumanity we are it’s cure…

hope this choas I feel & see now stays inside & turns into flowers

let my love live

let my love grow

even if i die

my soul will eternally flow

I look at this world & how it’s functioning

I look at people’s concepts there level of understanding interpretating relaying how there saying what there talking about,

I look in my inner-self to find nowhere nothing no meaning breaths of air but it’s like i’m dieing

A bit like a droopy sun flower when the suns not shining,

it’s growth was just too show it takes more 1 or even 2 3 or even 4 most importantly it needs a lot of tender love & care, it’s as important as air…

I put so much together but never a meaning,

I don’t think there are words for me too describe how I’m feeling,

I even now find myself smiling giggling crying laughing shouting cooking cleaning getting drunk getting stonned but no feelings…

no ones home I can do what I want but what I wanted was a cuddle & a smile thats why all this doesn’t mean much it’s becoming a puzzle…

i’m in the middle of a muddle it’s even raining too be honest i wanna throw this note away & play in a puddle…

when there’s no one there

when it’s the same emptyness everywhere everyday,

I think inside myself & I’m greatful for a lot, every drip I take…

most of all for love because i’ll never give up mysearch

I know my love is not a lady any more but these streets that I walk…

even tho the love I had is somehow now fading, all I truely want is to be free from these chains of simply just existing,

far away alone no stress no worry happy with the sky by my side & being now my only guide…

i’ll learn too fly up there high in the sky say goodbye too all the answers i know & all my why’s?

Too complete myself embrace reality’s biggest secrets & that is not too question if but i wish i my if & why

Hiding all my tears my memories my childhood my tradigies my family’s lost dream of unity & harmony…

I can’t even shed behind my broken smile I put there myself, tears that are traumaticly brutaly eradicating my inner subconscious’s tranquility & effecting this elaborate dream I have too keep on supporting…

Where the fire of my life used too be burning bright,

frankly speaking it’s now like a blender a bit of a saw sight…

It’s even crippling me this very breath I’m taking the centre of my gravity behind my very existence is slipping

my smile’s reality the mask is up every one knows but it’s just encouraged no one says no

cheerd on like a TV show plenty of claps even

“wow’s”

So I choose now too just roll along do thing my mask my face a bit of a twist & a calm steady constant flow,

my bong that I clearly smoke my Marijuana in

Reality perception communication methodology & great caution….

I live life on the edge always have done,

I have too be wary I’m here ready now,

ready too take on any equation maths computers love overall education,

pharmaceutical investments physics biology Telecommunications,

Satalite backward onion Tor scrambled connection uplinks,

HSDPA 3G & your bedroom routers latest wireless AC establishment,

Operating Systems Desktops Laptops,

windows xp 7 8 10 & I previewed it before any… Building plumbing digging driving cleaning hospitality services @ 4:37am on shit rainy cold day…

chemistry history & Government Institutions,

I like too keep myself always busy ready for any situation,

I always pray there challenging exhilarating so I get back up after I fall brush myself off & start laughing aiming for more knowing people think they have there say in my well-being but that’s a load of shit & I think we all know it

I will always give everything my all just too recieve nothing

it’s kinda scary so lets see what the next tide brings in,

is it going too be soft squishy warm & hopefully suuuper sexy or another explosion of more unnecessary reasons too break down just pieced together tender caste of emotions….